How Pennsylvania Custody Judges View Texts, Emails, and Co-Parenting Apps Under the Best Interests Factors
In 2025, most Pennsylvania custody cases involve a digital paper trail. Every text message, email, shared calendar event, social media DM, and co-parenting app notification can become part of your story in court. Judges in child custody cases must follow the best interests of the child factors in 23 Pa. C.S. § 5328, which includes looking at which parent is more likely to encourage contact with the other parent, avoid conflict, and meet the child’s needs. Your digital communication is often one of the clearest windows into how you actually co-parent.
At Louis Wm. Martini, Jr., P.C., we work with clients across Delaware County and surrounding areas who are navigating custody, divorce, and co-parenting disputes in a world where almost everything is in writing. Our job is not only to advocate for you in negotiations and the courtroom, but also to help you understand how your everyday communication can support or damage your case.
In this post, we will explain how Pennsylvania courts look at text messages and other digital evidence when applying the best interests of the child factors, how tools like co-parenting apps can help, and how to adopt a “litigation proof” communication style that protects your rights and your relationship with your child.
How Judges Use Digital Communication Under Pennsylvania’s Custody Factors
Pennsylvania child custody law requires judges to decide custody based on the best interests of the child. Section 5328 of Title 23 lists a series of factors the court must consider, including:
- Which party is more likely to encourage and permit frequent and continuing contact between the child and the other party
- Which party is more likely to maintain a loving, stable, consistent, and nurturing relationship with the child
- Which party is more likely to attend to the child’s daily physical, emotional, developmental, educational, and special needs
- The level of conflict between the parties and the willingness and ability of the parties to cooperate with one another
The Pennsylvania General Assembly has recently updated this statute, and courts now must provide parties with a copy of the custody factors soon after a case is filed. That underscores how central these factors are in every custody decision.
Digital communication often becomes the evidence that illustrates these factors in real life. For example:
- Long strings of angry texts show ongoing conflict and an unwillingness to cooperate
- Calm, child-focused emails can demonstrate that you consistently try to resolve issues and keep the other parent informed
- Co-parenting app messages that show you proposing to make up parenting time or sharing school details can support the idea that you encourage the child’s relationship with the other parent
When judges weigh “Pennsylvania child custody and text messages,” they are not just looking at who yelled first. They are asking what this pattern of communication says about your ability to co-parent in a way that serves your child’s best interests.
When Text Messages And Emails Hurt Your Custody Case
Many parents are surprised at how damaging a single screenshot can be. In reality, it is usually not one message that hurts you, but a pattern.
Angry texts and late-night rants
It is normal to feel frustrated with a former partner. The problem arises when frustration turns into verbal abuse, name-calling, or threats in writing. Judges and opposing counsel can read those texts as evidence that:
- You cannot separate your feelings about the other parent from your role as a co-parent
- You may not be able to shield your child from conflict
- You are unwilling to work together in good faith
Even messages you think are private can be captured and printed. Guidance from courts and legal commentators on digital evidence stresses that text messages can be admitted as evidence if they are relevant, authenticated, and not unfairly prejudicial.
Social media DMs and public posts
Arguments over custody that spill onto Facebook, Instagram, or X can be especially harmful. Recent commentary on social media in custody cases notes that public arguments show poor judgment and may signal to the court that a parent is not acting in the child’s best interests.
Even “private” DMs are risky. If the other parent or a mutual contact captures your messages, they can end up in the court file. Jokes, memes, or comments that minimize your child’s needs or mock the other parent may be used to argue that you are not taking co-parenting seriously.
Email chains and long essays
Lengthy, emotional emails that rehash the relationship or accuse the other parent of every perceived wrong can also backfire. Judges rarely have time to read pages of blame. Instead, they may take away that:
- You are focused on punishing the other parent rather than solving child-focused issues
- You do not respect boundaries or the court’s desire to reduce conflict
In high conflict cases, the pattern of digital communication can matter more to your custody outcome than any single incident.
How Texts And Co-Parenting Apps Can Actually Help You
The good news is that your digital trail can also work in your favor. Used thoughtfully, texts, emails, and co-parenting apps can showcase you as the reasonable, child focused parent.
Structured co-parenting tools and their benefits
Courts around the country, including in Pennsylvania, often recommend or order parents to use dedicated co-parenting platforms such as OurFamilyWizard when conflict is high. These apps are designed to:
- Keep all communication in one place, with time and date stamps
- Provide shared calendars for parenting time, school events, and activities
- Track expenses and reimbursements
- Offer messaging tools that some judges and professionals can view when necessary
Because these platforms create a clear record, they can reduce arguments about “who said what.” That makes them particularly helpful in “co-parenting apps in PA custody cases” where the court wants to see that parents are exchanging important information in a calm, organized way.
When we work with clients who use co-parenting apps, we often see:
- Fewer disputes about missed messages
- Easier proof that our client offered solutions or make up time
- More objective, neutral-looking communication compared to personal texting threads
Positive digital records
Digital communication can bolster your case when you consistently:
- Confirm pick up and drop off details in writing
- Share school emails, report cards, and medical updates promptly
- Offer reasonable alternatives when changes are needed
- Use polite, concise language that stays focused on the child
These habits support several best interest factors at once, including the willingness to cooperate, the ability to attend to daily needs, and the ability to maintain stability in the child’s life.
In other words, smart use of digital tools becomes “digital evidence in Pennsylvania divorce” and custody cases that works for you, not against you.
Practical Tips For Litigation-Proof Messaging
One of the most important mindset shifts we encourage clients to make is this:
- Assume that every text, email, app message, and DM may one day be read by a judge.
If you adopt that assumption, your communication will almost automatically become more effective and safer from a legal perspective.
Here are practical guidelines you can follow.
1. Keep it child-focused
- Talk about schedules, school, health, and activities, not past relationship grievances
- Avoid insulting language or commentary on the other parent’s personal life
- If a message does not help your child or move an issue forward, consider not sending it
2. Be brief, clear, and concrete
- Use short messages with specific proposals
- For example: “Jordan has a dentist appointment on Tuesday at 2 p.m. Can you pick up from school and take them, or would you like me to handle this appointment”
- Avoid sarcasm or jokes that could be misunderstood on paper
3. Wait before hitting send
- If you write while angry, save the message as a draft and revisit it later
- Ask yourself: “If a judge read this, would it help or hurt me”
- Many clients find that a ten minute delay avoids sending something they will regret
4. Stick to one communication channel when possible
- If you are ordered to use a specific co-parenting app, keep important communication there
- Avoid having parallel conversations by text, email, and social media, which can create confusion and mixed records
5. Never discuss your court case with your child through text
- Do not send messages that pressure your child to choose sides or discuss litigation
- You want your digital history to show that you protect your child from adult conflict, not involve them in it
6. Preserve your messages and share them with your lawyer
- Do not delete communication threads that could support your case
- Save screenshots, export conversation histories where possible, and keep backups
- Resources from the Pennsylvania courts even explain practical steps for preserving technology-based evidence so that it can be used properly in court.
Developing these habits will make your digital communication much more “litigation-proof” and aligned with the expectations of Pennsylvania custody judges.
Digital Evidence In Pennsylvania Divorce And Custody Cases
Digital evidence is not special in the sense that it must follow different rules. In Pennsylvania, texts, emails, and social media posts are generally treated like any other evidence. To be admitted, they must be relevant, authenticated, and not unfairly prejudicial.
Relevance
The communication must say something that matters to your case. In custody matters, that often means:
- Demonstrating a pattern of interference with parenting time
- Showing threats, harassment, or abusive language
- Proving that a parent is sharing or withholding crucial information
- Documenting cooperation and child-focused behavior
Authenticity
The court needs some proof that:
- The messages are real
- The person appears to be who you say they are
- The messages have not been altered in a misleading way
This can be shown through testimony, context, screenshots with metadata, or other corroborating evidence.
Practical advice for clients
- Take clear screenshots that include the contact name or number, date, and time
- Back up key messages in multiple secure locations
- Do not edit or “clean up” screenshots, since that can raise questions about authenticity
- Tell us early about any concerning or helpful digital evidence in your case so that we can plan how to use it
Being proactive about digital evidence helps us present a clear, credible picture of your co-parenting behavior to the court.
Why It Helps To Work With A Local Custody Attorney Who Understands Digital Communication
Custody disputes are stressful enough without worrying that every notification on your phone might become evidence. A knowledgeable local attorney can help you manage both the legal issues and the communication strategy.
At Louis Wm. Martini, Jr., P.C., we focus our practice on Pennsylvania family law, including divorce, child custody, and child support matters throughout Delaware County and the surrounding region. Attorney Louis Martini has more than three decades of courtroom experience and has served as a Family Law Master in Delaware County, which gives our firm a practical understanding of how local courts view custody disputes and digital communication.
We work closely with clients to:
- Review existing text messages, emails, and app histories
- Identify digital evidence that supports their position
- Develop safer, more effective communication habits going forward
- Decide when to recommend structured co-parenting apps in PA custody cases
- Present digital evidence clearly and persuasively in negotiations and hearings
We also know that many clients are worried about saying the wrong thing and harming their relationship with their children. Our approach is to provide specific, practical guidance that you can apply in your daily life, not just in the courtroom.
Contact Louis Wm. Martini, Jr., P.C. Today for a Consultation About Your Case
If you are involved in a custody dispute or expect one may be coming, your text messages, emails, and co-parenting app communication are already shaping your case. Before you send another message that could be misunderstood or used against you, talk with a Pennsylvania custody lawyer who understands how digital evidence works and how judges apply the best interests factors in 23 Pa. C.S. § 5328.
At Louis Wm. Martini, Jr., P.C., we are committed to helping parents protect their relationships with their children and present themselves in the strongest possible light, both on paper and in person. We will review your situation, explain your options, and work with you to create a communication strategy that supports your goals. To schedule a confidential consultation, contact our office through our online form or call us using the contact information on our website.
Disclaimer: The articles on this blog are for informative purposes only and are no substitute for legal advice or an attorney-client relationship. If you are seeking legal advice, please contact our law firm directly.